How do you start to "Love Yourself"?

When life gets tough, you can very often lose your sense of self-worth. Quite often you also have to contend with other people putting you down, or even just being blunt in a way that allows misinterpretation of the message, creating your own lack of self-worth to make it worse than it really is.

Being unhappy in yourself is very restrictive. When you can’t realize your own worth you will struggle to strive for more. Do you lack confidence? Do you lack self-love? Do you think other’s opinions are more important than yours?

You are not a doormat for other people to walk all over. It is not ok to put others happiness in front of your own. It is time you learnt to accept yourself the way you are and realize that you are worthy of love. And you are worthy of love from the most important person in your life. You!

Re-learning to love yourself is the start of realizing that you are not a person made to accommodate someone else’s whims. You were designed perfectly for you. Loving yourself will illuminate you so that your light can shine so bright wherever you go, leading the way to your divine purpose.

The most important place to start is with self-acceptance. 

Self-acceptance, as you are right now, is key to helping you realize your self-worth. You need to look deep within and realize that there is no such thing as the perfect human being and it is in fact your imperfections that make you amazing!

To realize your self- worth it is important to follow 5 crucial steps.

1. Acceptance

Think about someone that you really admire. I want you to remember the day that you met that person and remember your first impression of them. Was that person warm, caring, funny, calm, sweet, generous?

Now think about yourself. Imagine meeting yourself for the first time. What thoughts pop to your mind? Are you warm, caring, funny, calm, sweet, generous? Something else? Do you have a lovely smile, or inviting eyes? Are you talented at the art of conversation, or great at listening? What is it about you that you love the minute you realize who you really are? You will invariably come up with some negative things you don’t like about yourself. We all suffer self-criticism, but this is where you need to learn the art of compassion. Pretend you are a friend meeting you for the first time. Would you even notice that quality you constantly criticize yourself for? If you did notice that quality, would you care? Would the good outweigh the bad? Would someone else love that about you? Try to understand yourself and not condemn yourself.

Your confidence will rise when you can accept and appreciate your own self-image.

2. Be true to you.

Let me introduce you to your ego! This is the voice of “reason”. It is the voice that tells you that you can’t do that. It is the voice that reasons with you and tells you that other people would judge you for doing that. The voice that reminds you what your Mother said that one time when you were four, about your naughty behaviour. It is the voice that keeps you “safe”. It keeps you safe from stepping outside the comfort zone and safe from striving for more. Safe from fear, but also locked in fear. Your ego is there to protect you from further vulnerability.

Your ego also cushions you from reality and limits your visibility. It can also diminish your capacity for living the way you truly desire to live.

For one second, try to silence the ego. Try to get in touch with your Higher Self. Listen to your soul’s calling! Listen to that inner voice. The one deep down that feels like it comes from the heart. That is the true you.

Becoming more authentic means allowing yourself to think your own thoughts and make your own choices. It means you can rise above the need for approval from others. You no longer feel obligated to anyone. Your feelings, thoughts and choices, are now yours alone. You no longer feel the need to agree, simply to be well mannered. You are happy to agree to disagree.

3. Empathy

Accepting who you are is extremely liberating. It allows you to then be a support to others as well. Reaching out to someone else allows you to move out of yourself in a genuine and caring way.

Learning to place yourself in someone else’s position, can be liberating. It can help you to realize that the world doesn’t actually revolve around you. This empathy is the way to diminish misinterpretations in communications, as you are able to understand why someone might do or say, what they have done or said. Empathy allows you to feel deeply and spontaneously with others. It allows the gift of understanding and the ability to be kind instead of judgmental.

The world where you can “Feel” what others feel is a world where the possibilities of amazing human experiences are greatly enhanced.

4. Believe

“I am not good enough”. Is this what you think? Is this belief firmly encrusted in your core? Somehow, something will always go wrong! If you said yes to this, then you need to stop giving yourself excuses. You need to make the commitment to believe in yourself. Truly believing in yourself and your motivations are your ticket to success. Your thoughts give your belief the power, so to change your belief we need to change your thoughts. “I am good enough!” There is no longer any such word as not or can’t.

5. Belong

A community is seen as a union of people who have something in common. This could be church, family, friendship circle, book club, the 4wd forum, tarot club or the indigo children group. It is so important to realize, that even if you feel alone right now, you aren’t actually ever alone. There is always someone who will “get you”. There is always someone who will understand. There is always someone.

When you can appreciate that there are others that you can feel comfortable with, and experience a sense of mutual belonging, then you will learn how to feel more confident in giving and receiving. Feeling alone can drive you into the depths of loneliness and alienation. Feeling alone most importantly undermines your confidence and increases your negative feelings or low self-worth, anger and resentment.

Did you enjoy this article? Then you will LOVE the rest of my book called The FASTR Process. Please click on the photo below to order your copy.

Liz xxx

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